You are talking to someone, telling them they're wrong about why you're leaving. They dismiss your protest, calling you easy to read, blaming your actions on your feelings for your partner.
You try to argue its a quest for answers, absolution. A partial truth. Maybe you just want to know why your partner can affect you in a way nobody else ever has. How he had been able to so easily crash through the walls you'd spend years fortifying.
The one you're with suddenly grabs you and yanks you toward a closet. "I've got just the thing for absolution." They present you with a gun. You've never held one before.
Your initial reaction is disgust. They're the one obsessed with guns, not you. They dismiss your words again, shoving the gun into your hands and saying the weapon has provided them with their best answers. They call it a gift for you bothering to listen to them, refuse to take it back when say you need no compensation, you only do what you want to do.
"No. I'm not taking it back. But if you can't stomach a trade, when you find the answers that you're seeking, you can return it. In that case, it's just a loan, not a gift. You can't refuse that."
You hate this. But they seem sincere about the gun being the path to your answers. It makes you waver. You mentally compromise, reminding yourself that it's just optics, the wolf doesn't need weapons and they don't have to know you never used the loan. You're never coming back here again anyway. You shove the weapon into your coat.
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Memory 2
Date: 2022-12-09 11:39 pm (UTC)You try to argue its a quest for answers, absolution. A partial truth. Maybe you just want to know why your partner can affect you in a way nobody else ever has. How he had been able to so easily crash through the walls you'd spend years fortifying.
The one you're with suddenly grabs you and yanks you toward a closet. "I've got just the thing for absolution." They present you with a gun. You've never held one before.
Your initial reaction is disgust. They're the one obsessed with guns, not you. They dismiss your words again, shoving the gun into your hands and saying the weapon has provided them with their best answers. They call it a gift for you bothering to listen to them, refuse to take it back when say you need no compensation, you only do what you want to do.
"No. I'm not taking it back. But if you can't stomach a trade, when you find the answers that you're seeking, you can return it. In that case, it's just a loan, not a gift. You can't refuse that."
You hate this. But they seem sincere about the gun being the path to your answers. It makes you waver. You mentally compromise, reminding yourself that it's just optics, the wolf doesn't need weapons and they don't have to know you never used the loan. You're never coming back here again anyway. You shove the weapon into your coat.